KPOP MAY SAVE YOUR LYFE

I can't really think of anything witty to say today.....It's kind of an off day. School starts Wednesday, and I've been eating bagels and eggs every day for the past week because I don't get paid until tomorrow...and I think it's stopping my brain flow. Also, all I've been listening to is Air and Destiny's Child, So I wouldn't rule out mental illness.

so, to fill the void, one of my favorite tweets from the funniest dude ever AKA FATJEW.

What's orange and looks good on a hippie? FIRE

COWORKER CORNER:

I AM CORNHOLIO! I NEED TP FOR MY BUNGHOLE!

FRIENDS CORNER:

So my bffffffizzle Samantha came home from Korea this week! Holla!

and not only did she bring me back these ear-rangs:

but she also brought back beautiful Korean boys!

KPOP is amazing! Essentially, they take everything popular in America ( yes..even lady gaga) and make it SO MUCH BETTER.

case in point:

In other news- I am officially moving to Korea to get sooo much sweet ass.

KELC'S CORNER:

I GOT A NEW FUCKIN' BIKE, Y'ALL!!!

His name is "Sexy Boy" like the Air song.

and heeerrre he is:

And here's me ridin' it:

alsooo....wassup fools i ordered a new 650 front wheel so soon I shall be rockin it likadis: (but dont expect it to be too good):

NEXT TIME: PLAYGRRL FOR REAL+ WHY I HATE JOHN PHILIP SOUSA

Fucking Rabbit Lady

So I've been trying to adopt this rabbit named Honeybun, but the lady at the agency keeps on fucking hounding me about the damned rabbit. She calls me while I'm in the grocery store, while I'm peeing, while I'm attempting to sleep...Which brings me to another point: have you ever heard of the cold remedy of sippin hot whiskey, lemon, and honey? Well last night I had a cold and all of said ingredients, so I decided to try-a-doodle this little diddle in my new mushroom cups.

DON'T DO IT.

Dear God, it's like sipping steaming toxic waste scooped straight out of the mountain or wherever they're storing that shit these days. On the upside, I did get wasted enough to fall asleep happily and then to drag myself out for a piss happily later, successfully terrifying my roommate and her friends. I imagine my performance was not unlike my performance after the last whiskey-by-myself night. Or was it Vodka?

ANYHOO.

FRIENDS CORNER:

By: Lilly Smith

COWORKER CORNER:

By: Vincent Boarini

KELC'S CORNER:

Look at the racist and tacky shit I bought for my house!

FUCKING TEABAG HOLDERS.

NEXT TIME: I Got a New Fucking Bike, Y'all! + The Magic That Is Playgirl