So I've been trying to adopt this rabbit named Honeybun, but the lady at the agency keeps on fucking hounding me about the damned rabbit. She calls me while I'm in the grocery store, while I'm peeing, while I'm attempting to sleep...Which brings me to another point: have you ever heard of the cold remedy of sippin hot whiskey, lemon, and honey? Well last night I had a cold and all of said ingredients, so I decided to try-a-doodle this little diddle in my new mushroom cups.
DON'T DO IT.
Dear God, it's like sipping steaming toxic waste scooped straight out of the mountain or wherever they're storing that shit these days. On the upside, I did get wasted enough to fall asleep happily and then to drag myself out for a piss happily later, successfully terrifying my roommate and her friends. I imagine my performance was not unlike my performance after the last whiskey-by-myself night. Or was it Vodka?
ANYHOO.
FRIENDS CORNER:
By: Lilly Smith
COWORKER CORNER:
By: Vincent Boarini
KELC'S CORNER:
Look at the racist and tacky shit I bought for my house!
FUCKING TEABAG HOLDERS.
NEXT TIME: I Got a New Fucking Bike, Y'all! + The Magic That Is Playgirl
I'm going to steal you're mushroom cups.
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